CHILDHOOD ANGER
Q: My 4-year-old is really a handful. She is angry and defiant all of the time. She is bullying other children a preschool and is angry at home all of the time. I don’t know what to do.
A: All children are angry and defiant, at times. The “Terrible Twos” are when it usually starts. It is a normal part of the child trying to take charge of their life. Sometimes, they act out in ways that scare you. It is frustrating to see your child bullying other children. You have to help them with this by showing them clear limits around what behavior is okay, and then be consistent with your expectations. Be sure that your own behavior is consistent, as well. Teach your child ways to express anger that do not hurt others. Try to teach them to use words instead of fists. Teach your child using games, where playing well with others pays off. They have to learn cause and effect. Try rolling or throwing a ball with them and reward them for doing it. Teach them how sharing allows both people to win. Divide a snack and allow the other child to pick, first. They have to learn it is okay to be angry, but they need to be able to control it. Time-outs should be used to stop aggressive behavior. Time-out means that you remove your young child for a short period of time. The rule of thumb is one minute for every year of age, with a maximum of five minutes. You have to do it right after the bad behavior, not later. Time-outs really do not do much before age 2. Be calm when you use time-outs. If your child is still not able to control their anger, it may be time to come in and talk about it.
Dr. Rick Casey
Questions can be submitted directly to the providers, called in to Mercy Clinic at 417/876-5851 or submitted through their new App mymercy.net.
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