The Rock Wall

Posted February 7, 2013 at 1:36 pm

Crocus up.

I was impressed Tuesday morning when Kimball, from our carport, asked if that was a crocus up as she looked all the way across our driveway…and she was correct. When I told Mary, she said she had seen some crocus blooming on the south side of her house and suggested Kimball look at home.

Isn’t this early?

We looked at a house south of the Post Office where we have seen crocus before. Some kind of blue flower is up which Kimball suspects is a type of crocus.

Spring has almost sprung.

- In Adrian’s new apartment, she can’t just let her minature Snauzer, Penny, use the pet door to go outside. At 4 a.m., Penny stared at Adrian until she got up, put her on a leash and took her out.

Adrian told Kimball that the next morning she was so tired she didn’t get up in time to take a shower before she went to work.

Kimball, concerned about her little girl outside at 4 a.m., asked, “Is that safe?”

Adrian replied, “Yes, I just put on extra deodorant.”

- Maybe that means it is time to tell you how to install a southern home security system:

1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men’s work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine.

3. Put 4 giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your front door that reads:

Bubba,

Me and Marcel, Donnie Ray and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.

Don’t mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don’t think Killer took part but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of ‘em in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back, Cooter.

- A few quick jolts of actual answers by 16 year olds from last year’s GED exam:

Q. Name the four seasons.

A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q. Name a disease associated with cigarettes.

A. Premature death.

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour.

A. Keep it in the cow.

Q. What does “varicose” mean?

A. Nearby.

Q. What is a seizure?

A. A Roman Emperor (Julius Seizure: I came, I saw, I had a fit.)

Q. What is a terminal illness?

A. When you are sick at the airport.

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A. Flirtation makes water safe to during because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q. How are the 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)?

A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the branium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain. The borax contains the heart and lungs. The abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O, U.

KL