The Rock Wall

Posted August 22, 2013 at 10:42 am

Rhetorical questions for hunters and fishermen:

Do deer ever get stuck in the rut?

If a wolf can take down a deer from either flank, does that make it bambidextrous?

Why is it you never see a mounted fish with its mouth shut?

Do voyeurs use peep sights?

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

Why do bank fishermen cast as far as they can from the shore, and boat fishermen cast as close as they can to the shore?

Can you communicate with fish by dropping them a line?

If fishing is the way to catch a fish, why isn’t ducking the way to catch a duck?

Did you ever notice that if you blow in your hunting dog’s face it goes crazy, yet when he rides in your vehicle he sticks his head straight out the window?

If olive oil comes from olives, where does gun oil come from?

How do you tell if stinkbait goes bad?

What are male ladyfish called?

Why are bait-casting reels used for casting lures?

Can a bass be a tenor, too?

Shouldn’t you be able to ring a bell sinker?

Are bluefish sad?

- For those who never saw any of the Burma Shave signs, here is a quick lesson in our history of the 1930’s and 40’s and some in the 50’s and 60’s.

Before there were interstates, when everyone drove the old two lane roads, Burma Shave signs would be posted all over the countryside in farmers’ fields. They were small red signs with white letters. Five signs, about 100 feet apart, each containing one line of a four line couplet…and the obligatory fifth sign advertising Burma Shave, a popular shaving cream.

• Don’t stick your elbow out so far, it may go home in another car. Burma Shave

Here’s the shorter version of several. You can add Burma Shave at the end of each one.

• Passing school zone, take it slow. Let our little shavers grow.

• Trains don’t wander all over the map ‘cause nobody sits in the engineer’s lap.

• She kissed the hairbrush by mistake. She thought it was her husband, Jake.

• Don’t lose your head to gain a minute. You need your head, your brains are in it.

• Drove too long. Driver snoozing. What happened next is not amusing.

• Brother speeder let’s rehearse. All together. Good morning, Nurse.

• Cautious rider to her reckless dear: Let’s have less bull and a little more steer.

• Speed was high, weather was not. Tires were thin. X marks the spot.

• The midnight ride of Paul for beer led to a warmer hemisphere.

• Drinking driver, nothing worse. Puts the booze before the hearse.

• Around the curve lickety-split. Beautiful car, wasn’t it?

• No matter the price, no matter how new, the best safety device in the car is you.

• A guy who drives a car wide open is not thinkin’, he’s just hopin’.

• At intersections look each way, a harp sounds nice but it’s hard to play.

• Both hands on the wheel, eyes on the road, that’s the skillful driver’s code.

• The one who drives when he’s been drinking, depends on you to do his thinking.

• Car in ditch, driver in tree. The moon was high and so was he.

Do these bring back any old memories? If not, you’re merely a child.

Enjoy life now – it has an expiration date.

KL