Koroner’s Korner: Living and Dying With Cancer

I have several, very good friends, close acquaintances, and just acquaintances that have cancer.  More than a few of them have been told their cancer is terminal, but that they may be able to prolong their lives with chemotherapy and radiation treatments.

Some of these friends were diagnosed with one type of cancer, then after treatment and thinking they were in the clear, told that they now had another, additional type of cancer.  One friend and fellow Green Beret was told that every day he is able to walk around is a miracle because his mantle cell cancer was terminal so they tried a new, experimental treatment on him that had never been tried before.  After years, he was pronounced clear and good, only to be recently told that now he had prostate cancer.

I always say, “Don’t ever say things can’t get worse, because they can.”  In his case, not only did he ride the roller coaster of life, his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She survived that and was pronounced ‘cured’ when on her final checkup, they diagnosed brain cancer.  She’s undergoing treatments for that now.  She wears a hat but we tell her she doesn’t need to around us, because we think she’s beautiful and full of life just the way she is.

Instead of sitting around moping and saying, “Woe is me.”  My friend and his wife just built and moved into a new house so they can live their dream.  I enjoy spending time with them because between my current job and their medical issues, we all have a greater appreciation for the life we’ve been blessed with.

My other close friend has just been diagnosed with a type of blood cancer linked to Agent Orange and his time in Vietnam.  They are giving him fifteen years at the most.  His plan?  He’s driving over a thousand miles to come to see me this October.  After that, he’ll fly to yet another foreign country on his bucket list to keep fulfilling his hobby and life of photography.

On the other side of the coin, my cousin was diagnosed with brain cancer and after one series of treatments, she couldn’t stand the side effects and said she wasn’t going back anymore, sealing her fate.  In a few months she passed away.

Were any of these people right and the others wrong?  In my humble opinion, no.  Each person has to choose their own life and how they are going to live it.  None of my friends and cousin could control their disease, but with God’s help, they controlled their reactions.

One close friend was devastated on his initial diagnosis, but saw how he was surrounded by so many others grieving in the waiting room because of their diagnoses, he realized he had been given a golden opportunity by God to testify and give hope to a whole multitude of people.  He continues to bring hope to others every day.

We each have to make our own decisions and face ourselves in the mirror every day.  We also have to face God at the end.  Some folks are able to make decisions and live with what they’ve done, while others can’t imagine their choice.  Living and dying (a part of living), is just like I wrote about grieving in a previous article.  Everyone does it their own way and it’s not always our business to tell them how to do either.  We can give advice, we can say prayers, we can offer unlimited help, but all of us have to make our own decisions.

If you live your life half as full as my several friends, your life will be so full you won’t have time to worry, feel sorry for yourself, or grieve.  Here’s to wishing and praying you live a happy and full life.

Danny Leo Green

Cedar County Coroner