Between the Covers: ‘Let Them’ by Mel Robbins (Chapters 10–15)

By Melanie Chance

We’ve spent the last few weeks walking through Mel Robbins’ Let Them, and now we’ve reached the middle stretch — chapters 10 through 15. I’ll be honest, these chapters didn’t just feel like a reading assignment. They felt like sitting down with a tough but loving friend who refuses to let you keep sabotaging your own peace.

These pages are about letting go in ways most of us don’t want to, but absolutely have to if we’re going to live freely.

In chapter 10, Robbins takes on comparison, and she doesn’t tiptoe around it. We all do it — scrolling through social media, watching our friends buy homes, travel the world, or land jobs we secretly wanted — and then quietly beating ourselves up because we’re not there yet.

She reminds us that there are actually two kinds of comparison. Upward comparison is when we look at someone doing “better” than us and feel small. Downward comparison is when we look at someone doing “worse” and feel a little relief that at least we’re not them. Both, Robbins warns, can be toxic if they’re used to tear ourselves or others down.

Her challenge is to flip it: “Comparison can be your greatest teacher if you stop using it as a weapon against yourself.” Instead of saying, “I’ll never be that,” ask, “What can I learn from what I admire in them?” That line stuck with me because it forces us to choose growth over shame.

Chapters 11 through 13 dig into something we don’t talk about enough: adult friendships. Robbins calls it “the great scattering.” The friends who were always in your corner in high school or your 20s may not be the same ones who walk with you into your 40s or 50s.

It’s overwhelming to accept that not every friendship is built to last forever. And yet, Robbins reminds us: that’s not failure, that’s life. People move, grow, change — and sometimes drift. Instead of clinging to guilt or resentment, she pushes us to honor what those friendships were and make space for the ones that still bring energy instead of draining it.

If you’re in that season right now where old friendships feel shaky, know this: it doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you. It means life is happening, and you’re allowed to let it.

In chapters 14 and 15, Robbins turns her focus to how we influence others. This one stung, because so many of us (me included) confuse “influence” with “control.”

She’s clear about it: people don’t change because we lecture them, guilt them, or shame them. They change when they decide to. Our role isn’t to force it — our role is to model it.

Think about it. You don’t respect the person who constantly tells you how to live; you respect the one who quietly lives their truth and inspires you to want better for yourself. That’s influence.

Robbins’ challenge is simple but hard: stop trying to engineer someone else’s breakthrough. Let them come to it on their own.

I’ll admit, this book has hit close to home. I’m a mother of one, soon to be a mother of two grown children. My daughter is just months away from being fully on her own, and my son has been out in the world for a while. For years, my instinct was to hover — to coddle, to protect, to insert myself into their decisions whether they asked for it or not.

But in these past several months, with the help of my husband. I’ve been practicing the very words Robbins writes about: Let Them. I’ve quit trying to influence everything they do. I’ve let them begin to live their lives on their terms.

And something amazing has happened. The less I push, the more they pull me in. I hear from them more. I get asked for advice more. My son is always inviting me to visit. By letting them, I’ve discovered the truth Robbins keeps hammering home: letting them is letting me. Letting me stop controlling, letting me breathe, letting me enjoy them as the adults they are becoming.

By the end of chapter 15, Robbins ties together the messy realities of comparison, friendships, and influence with the same simple truth she’s been pressing from the start: protecting your peace is not selfish, it’s necessary.

What I’m carrying into this week is the reminder that letting go isn’t weakness — it’s wisdom. It’s refusing to stay small, stuck, or silenced just to keep someone else comfortable.

Next week, we’ll take the deep dive into chapters 16 through 20 — the final stretch of Let Them. We’ll finish the book together and explore Robbins’ closing lessons on what it really means to live free, set boundaries without apology, and choose peace no matter what.