Between the Covers: ‘Let Them’ by Mel Robbins (Chapters 16–20)

By Melanie Chance

As we close out Let Them, Mel Robbins saves some of her hardest truths for the final five chapters. Chapters 16 and 17 deal directly with enabling and the painful reality that you cannot change someone who is not ready to change. Robbins doesn’t soften it: enabling is not helping; it is delaying. Every time you step in to rescue an adult who refuses to take responsibility, you are draining yourself and blocking them from the growth that only comes from facing the weight of their own choices.

She makes an important distinction here. With children—any children—it is our duty to help them, guide them, and get them the resources they need. But with adults, the responsibility changes. You do not have to carry them. You do not have to make their choices easier. Your health and peace must come first. Robbins reminds us that you can love someone and still choose to walk away. You can care about someone and still refuse to carry them.

The last stretch of the book turns to love and dating, and Robbins doesn’t sugarcoat that either. She talks about how easy it is to lose yourself in relationships by trying to be who someone else wants you to be. Society tells us to play the part. But Robbins says the truth is simple: let people show you exactly who they are. If someone only wants a physical relationship, if they ghost you, if they keep proving they don’t respect you—believe them. “Stop listening to what people say and start watching what they do,” Robbins writes. Actions never lie.

That’s a hard pill to swallow when your heart is on the line. But Robbins challenges us to see rejection for what it is—redirection. “Let them” ghost you. “Let ME” move on. Because in doing so, you are making space for something better.

These chapters tie together the book’s central theme: letting go isn’t weakness, it’s freedom. It’s not about turning cold; it’s about finally stepping out of patterns that drain you. When you let them, you are really letting yourself.

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading along with me through this book. Be on the lookout for next month’s selection as we continue our journey, one chapter at a time.