KORONER’s KORNER My Six Words

PREPARING FOR THIS MY ENTIRE LIFE

Last article, I wrote how some advised to see if you could find three words that sum up a life lived.  I also quoted a website recommending six words “Six Words To Describe A Life?” (https://www.obituaryguide.com/review-six-words-to-describe-a-life.php).  These words could be at the end of the obituary and used elsewhere, such as at the funeral or epitaph at the grave.

I lay down that night thinking it over, if I am recommending things to others, “How would I describe my own life in only three words?”  After going over a half dozen different variations from, “I lived a good life (5 words), I was blessed by God (5 words), and more, I realized that I wrote like I spoke, with some folks saying I talk too much.

I resigned myself to trying six words.  Thankfully, I was able to fit those.  The thought is, I have been preparing for the end of my life my entire life.  I was able to put that into Preparing For This My Whole Life (6!).

How was I preparing?  For what is the ‘this’ I am preparing?  Was I really preparing my WHOLE life?  Until I thought it over a while, I was sure I meant preparing for the end of my life, but I was not sure how I was preparing.  The ‘what’ I was preparing was my life, my family, and my soul.

Brent Bland has known me most of my life.  I always thought that if I died before I was sixty years old, Brent would begin the eulogy with, “He died such a young man.”  Then the day I turned sixty years old, I figured he would change to, “He lived a good life.”

I had a cardiologist tell me one time that cardiovascular disease begins the day we are born, with fatty deposits slowly, but constantly building up along the walls of our blood vessels.  Our genes have a huge impact and we can slow the process down with healthy eating and exercise, but aging begins as soon as we do.

I did not know I was ‘preparing’ for the end of life when I was a kid.  I did not even know when I was in my adulthood, even in my fifties to some extent, but as I look back, I realize that is exactly what I was doing.  In my twenties I was preparing my family by buying life insurance.  In my thirties I tried to prepare them financially by concentrating more on my savings and investments so I could secure their future.  In my forties I started focusing on my upcoming retirement from the military and ensured they would have access to a portion of my retirement if and when I was no longer here.  So, I was not only preparing myself, but I was also preparing my family for my death.

How else did I prepare?  Without even realizing it I prepared for the end by making sure the middle was full.  There is an anecdote about the most important thing in your life is the ‘-‘ dash.  The dash is what is in between your date of birth and your date of death on your headstone or marker.

I am told I had a reputation for being a little ‘wild’ in my life while I was young.  I did not drink nor smoke nor cuss, but I seem to have pushed the edge of the envelope in my driving, particularly when riding my motorcycle.  I even had a woman in my church tell me that when she was in high school fifty years ago, she heard about and apparently saw some of my motorcycle stunts I used to demonstrate for the late-night crowds in front of the old Sibley & Thatch grocery store, now Ehler’s Hardware.  Some folks thought I was just stupid and irresponsible; in hindsight I would argue that I was getting the absolute most out of life that I could.  I was blessed by God that I did not kill myself early on with my driving, but others have not been so lucky nor blessed.

Some would say I lived my life in that same manner, jumping out of airplanes, climbing, and rappelling off mountains, swimming miles over the horizon of the ocean in the middle of the night to land on a beach somewhere.  As I have stated to others, if a civilian skydiver jumps out of an airplane at thousands of feet of altitude and a military parachutist jumps out, it all looks the same to the untrained eye on the ground.  But the difference is that the military parachutist has hundreds of hours of training, experience, and practice so that if something goes wrong with the primary plan (the main parachute), there are alternate, contingency, and emergency plans to help prevent or at least mitigate injuries.  The thrill of jumping out of the airplane is still there, magnified even more if you are jumping with combat equipment in the middle of the night, but there is a ton more preparation.

I believe I have ‘prepared’ for the end of my life by filling up the middle with the blessings God has given me, especially the gift of life so I could continue to experience life to the fullest.  So, when I say I have been preparing for the end of my life, it does not necessarily mean I have been concentrating on the end; I have been too busy filling up the ‘dash’ in the middle.  Toward the end of the dash, I have put much more preparation into not only my family, but my soul.

When I write my six words, “Preparing For This My Whole Life,” I am not fatalistic, I am realistic.  I know I cannot live forever so I am busy filling up the middle.  I hope I can help others see that planning does not mean giving up, it means giving your all so you can get the most out of life (the middle).

Danny Leo Green

Coroner, Cedar County