KORONER’s KORNER: Obituary Writing Tips

Here are some tips I found online about writing an obituary.  Hints are that it should be accurate, lively, and memorable.  You can easily find more if you have online access, but I know that many in our community depend on (and sometimes have more trust in) the newspapers for their information.

Accurate and Complete Accuracy and completeness are most important.  This sounds obvious, but it is not easy.  Errors can slip in, names can be misspelled, dates can be wrong, information can be missed.  The best way to ensure accuracy is to proofread, and then to proofread again.  A good way to catch errors is to set aside a document and then look at it another day – another reason to plan ahead so that you have the time to do it right.  I know that when I author these articles, I will come back the next day and find all kinds of errors or mistakes that I did not catch the first time I proofread.

Many obituaries have numerous errors, of both omission and commission.  Some omit the date of birth or even the date of death while others do not accurately list relatives.  That can sometimes cause long-standing issues if someone is accidentally omitted.  Death will already divide some families, do not compound what is already a troubled time by leaving someone out.  Some list the grandparents who survived and predeceased the individual, but they don’t add up to four, which again one might think was obvious.  Some obituaries have misspellings of the name of the hometown, or even words like “interment.”  ‘Interment’ is the act of burying someone.  ‘Internment’ is the act of confining or imprisoning someone, especially during wartime.

A concern about “identity theft” is prompting some to recommend not providing complete information – such as the date of birth – in an obituary.  Although we don’t want thieves to steal the identities of the dead, this would be a shame if obituaries were abbreviated.  The complete details are important, including the date of birth, middle names, and maiden names of married women but be careful.  House addresses in an obituary can be a clue to an empty home at the time of a funeral.  But details are useful for family, community archival and genealogical uses.  A point Dr. Neale reminded me of and asked that I emphasize.

Everybody must use their own judgment and figure out a balance between completeness and caution.  The final result is up to you.  Consider preparing a shorter public obituary without crucial information, and a longer, more complete one for family records and future genealogical research.   

Make it Lively – “Summing up a life is an awesome responsibility,” Alana Baranick writes on her website Death Beat (https://www.deathbeat.com/index.html).  An obituary can be interesting and compelling – especially if it focuses more on the life lived than on the notice of the death.  An obituary can help those in the family and other people know more about one of their own members, themselves, and the community in general.

There are examples of obituaries that show how dull they can be when all they contain is just the basic list of name, date of death, and funeral arrangements.  One man lived to ninety-six, yet his obituary only contained sixty-nine words (including the date and time of funeral and donation requests); another who lived to eighty-six had only eighty-two words.  There is no doubt in my mind their lives had lots of interesting details that people and even relatives would have been interested in.

A few newspapers now charge for obituaries.  If the cost of buying classified space is a concern, you can leave out the donation part and include something about the person who lived their life.  See if you are able to sum up someone’s life in three words.  While Mark Twain is often credited with saying he was sorry his letter was so long, and that if he would have had more time, he could have made it shorter; that idea was written in 1657 by Pascal, more than 200 years before Twain.  Writing short and to the point is difficult, possibly why my articles are so long.

Some people would like to thank those who surrounded them in their life for helping them to live, work, and raise a family.  There were those who cared for them when they were sick, dying, and after death; but also, those who helped along the way of life.  The obituary is that chance to reach out and say thanks with a report of a life lived and engaged in a community.  It may even inspire others to try to live their lives fully.

For many people, their obituary may be about the only thing that is ever written about them.  It can be the defining statement about that person for the family, friends, and community.  An obituary now will possibly be saved for generations.  All the more reason it is so important and should have some thought and even preplanning in writing it.

Next week I will include a template that just requires filling in the information.  It will hopefully help things go smoother with all the information in one place and in one document.

Danny Leo Green, Coroner, Cedar County