KORONER’s KORNER: R Pets Family 2?

I have written about families and family relationships several times.  This time I am bringing up a delicate subject for some.  Are pets considered family members?  Or just a possession?  Are pets able to feel and return your affection and therefore be an actual, close friend?  Or are they just another thing you can turn to helping you take your mind off your troubles, much like a hobby?

I expect this article to spark some discussion, even arguments.  Some of my friends I spoke to think horses are nothing but ‘hay burners’, while others have practically credited their horses with being their best friend while growing up.  Some folks had their horse ever since they can remember as a child and were faced with the burden of having to put their horse to sleep after twenty years of togetherness.

One owner told me they think they may have been more upset at the death of their pet than at the death of their own child.  I understand that because I have lost both as well.  But how can that be?  A child versus a pet?  How can they even be comparable in the least little way?

Certainly, if faced with a choice, there is no choice between choosing life and death.  Someone who would even think or consider it must have issues, significant issues in my opinion.  But we are not discussing the choice of life and death.  We are discussing the effects different deaths have on the living.

Children almost consume your entire life while you are raising them.  Everything in your life is centered around and on your children.  Your job is to ensure you make a good enough living to house, clothe and feed them.  Your vacations show them new experiences.  Your holidays so you can watch their smiles and listen to their shouts of glee as they open the presents of their dreams.  Raising them, educating them, pleasing them, and preparing your children for life; that is your life.

When your children leave the nest, especially if they have lived a continent away for decades and rarely visit or call; does their relationship remain as close as it was?  Is it as close as your pet that you have also raised from birth?  Your children have found independence and gone out on their own.  They do not require all the attention you provided them with when they were young and growing.  Sometimes, they do not return that attention to you and rarely call or almost never visit.

But the pet you have raised?  It will always require your attention to feed, house, and take care of its medical/veterinary needs.  Many times, your pet will understand when you are upset or sick and lay at your feet or across your lap providing you with companionship at least.  I have a friend with terminal cancer, and his cat has no doubt helped keep him sane and positive.  Of course he prays, but who is to say that God has not answered his prayer by sending a cat to provide solace?  An animal who lies next to you every night and comforts you when you are lonely, sick, or despondent; is it more than just a pet?  Or is it a lifelong companion?

When I write ‘lifelong’, we all (our children being the exception) realize that our pets will no doubt not last our entire lives.  There are always exceptions, but in the 1970’s, horses could live to 18, dogs 10-12, and cats to only 6-8 years.  Now, horses can live 28-32, dogs 14-18, and cats 12-20 years.  Size, breed, and health always impact those numbers, but none of our pets live as long as we do.

According to some sources, in the 1970’s, in the U.S. the average life expectancy at birth was 70.8 years.  Now, the CDC (Centers for Disease Control) says its 79 years; 76.5 for males and 81.4 for females.  The age gap of married couples continues to narrow so that today, the wife is an average of just 2.2 years younger than her husband, down from almost 2.5 years in the late 1970’s.  Some of us have larger gaps, five and a half years in my case.

All these numbers mean on average; a widow will spend more than seven years alone after the death of her husband.  With my wife’s female ancestors living to an average of 90 and my male progenitors living to 65, I used to tell her that she needed to be prepared to live another 25 years without me.  That is now likely down to just over 20 years since I am approaching 70 but still, a woman will have to face a long time without her husband.

Can anyone tell that widow that an animal that she loves and that loves her is not a companion in the truest sense of the word?  That the one who provides comfort when she cries over the loss of her husband and perhaps even warms her bed is not her family now?  When the four-legged friend is with you 24 hours a day and you provide everything for it and it provides you with love and companionship in return, how can we say that it is not family too?

As I wrote in the beginning, there will be those who ‘poo-poo’ this idea and say that an animal is just a dumb animal and something to put up with and an extra cost every month for food and heaven forbid veterinary care.

But there are others who have cried endless tears over month after month and remember how their four-legged companion from years ago was their closest friend and confidant.  Listening to all the secrets and never telling a soul.  Snuggling up in the bed and taking up room, but never out of place.

Do you miss your four-legged family as much as I do?

Danny Leo Green,

Coroner, Cedar County