I recently visited Bass Pro and was approached by a saleswoman who made an offer I thought would be a good deal. I would be given three days and two nights at a resort near Branson for only $249 and in exchange for listening to what amounted to be a time share sales pitch, I would receive $200 on a gift card and Mastercard. I thought, “Wow!” All I have to do is sit through an hour or two of listening to a briefing, say “No” and I’ll get a nice vacation for only $50.
We finally took advantage of that offer and drove down to Lake Taneycomo where Bass Pro holds extensive properties and has an agreement with Hilton Hotels to offer combined ‘deals’ around the world. Teresa convinced me to take the car instead of the motorcycle and as we drove down in 97-degree heat, I was glad she had.
We had a pleasant evening in a beautiful, large, three-bedroom cabin. Teresa had planned ahead and brought some pre-cooked meals so we would not have to go out and spend a lot on food. We awoke the next day and after some delicious breakfast casserole Teresa had brought along, we went to the event.
On arrival, we sat on a balcony overlooking an arm of Lake Taneycomo and relaxed in the still cool, Ozark morning air. Going into the brief, we were in a room with at least a dozen couples and most, if not all, were much younger than us.
The briefer began by reciting how he grew up with his dad only taking them on ‘day vacations’. Where his family would drive somewhere for the day and return home that night, and that was their vacation. He said his dad had set the example for him of his work and his life melding into one where his work was his life and his life was his work. This meant little time for family as his dad earned a living to keep food on the table and a roof over their heads.
This set the stage for him to spend a lifetime career working for Roger Penske Racing. When you’re racing, everything else comes in second place to make sure you are ready for the next race, and that includes family. He spent years spending time working for his family, instead of spending time with his family. At one point in his life, his dad had a heart attack and both he and his dad realized that there was only an unknown, limited amount of time to spend together and with the children and grandchildren before that time would be gone and never be gotten back.
This all hit me pretty hard emotionally. I remembered when I was younger, my dad and mom would take us on vacation to Six Flags or Rockaway Beach or just on a picnic in the country. As I got older, the vacations seemed to get less and less and finally got to the point where I don’t remember any after a certain time. My father had worked so hard to provide material things for the family, his work and life had melded into one.
When I joined the Marine Corps, I was well-prepared since my dad’s devotion to duty (work) had ingrained in me the quality of always giving 100% and always doing my best. That served me will in both the Marines and later in the US Army Special Forces. It also rocketed me to higher ranks in a brief time during my career in the Department of Defense. I thought I was ‘living the life’. What I did not realize was that I had lived the life my dad had before me, where my work had become my life and my life was my work. My family was sadly almost an addendum.
The brief at Branson Cedars brought back memories of neglect I did not even realize existed. I sat there listening to how someone had never spent enough time with their family until it was almost too late and realized I was living that life myself.
What memories of vacations would my children have? Did we even do any daytime picnic trips they would remember? Did we decide to spend the money and go places and spend money on the most valuable thing there is?… time together. Part of my personal issues are the repeated, traumatic brain injuries and the one brain surgery I’ve had. So, there are likely a lot of events where we did spend time together, but I just do not remember.
Larry Floyd told me one time how valuable land is because, “They are not making any more land.” The same goes for time, they are not making any more time. That means that the time for your family that you miss today or this week won’t be there tomorrow or next week. You can say that you’ll spend time with them as soon as something is over or you finish some job or when you ‘get some time; but will you ever get that time?
The sales pitch was all about selling me the dream life of spending lots of time with my family in beautiful places around the world. I ended up telling them that I wasn’t interested in obligating my family to a never-ending, lifetime of maintenance expenses, which we found out are the real cost of buying into time shares. I said that they were selling dreams and that I was living in reality. And in my reality, I had never learned to spend time with my family so why would I gamble my money that I would begin spending time now? I needed to change my lifestyle first and learn to spend time with my family first.
If you are not spending time with your family now, how much more time do you have?
Danny Leo Green,
Coroner, Cedar County
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